Lost Without You

  Lost Without You

  Heather Thurmeier, author of Falling for You and Stuck on You

  Avon, Massachusetts

  This edition published by

  Crimson Romance

  an imprint of F+W Media, Inc.

  10151 Carver Road, Suite 200

  Blue Ash, Ohio 45242

  www.crimsonromance.com

  Copyright © 2013 by Heather Thurmeier

  ISBN 10: 1-4405-5200-2

  ISBN 13: 978-1-4405-5200-7

  eISBN 10: 1-4405-5201-0

  eISBN 13: 978-1-4405-5201-4

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, corporations, institutions, organizations, events, or locales in this novel are either the product of the author’s imagination or, if real, used fictitiously. The resemblance of any character to actual persons (living or dead) is entirely coincidental.

  Cover art © 123rf.com

  To my girls,

  Be strong. Be brave. Don’t ever give up. Know you are always loved and never alone.

  Contents

  Dedication

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  More from This Author

  Also Available

  Chapter One

  Zoe Oliver stood with her back perfectly straight and her head held high. Half of her hair was combed back into a clip and the rest fell past her shoulders to mid-back in waves like a golden ocean. A slight fringe framed her face giving her that messy-yet-styled look.

  She didn’t need to look in the mirror again to know her makeup was still evenly applied with a base of foundation and pressed powder, followed by a dusting of bronzer, her favorite light jade eye shadow that enhanced her blue eyes, her usual eyeliner and mascara, and a coat of raspberry shimmer lip-gloss. Once she finished with her makeup in the morning, she didn’t dare scratch her nose or rub her eyes until bedtime. Because of that, she rarely had to fix her makeup during the day.

  Looking around, Zoe noticed the appearance of the other contestants. It was hard not to. Apparently they’d all gotten some memo about attire that she’d missed. Each of the five clusters of fellow contestants had four members and all of them were dressed as if they were about to go camping, not staring in a reality TV show.

  People on reality shows usually dress up and look nice while they’re on camera. Even on the last show, Treasure Trekkers, people had their hair done and makeup on and wore cute hiking clothes.

  Zoe smoothed out the non-existent wrinkles in her mid-thigh length pencil skirt and adjusted the hem of her blouse so it sat perfectly at her hips. She might be in the wilderness, but that was no excuse for a poor appearance.

  But this group of misfits must have gone shopping in the sporting goods section.

  That’s not going to help ratings.

  Of course, it was possible their choice of clothing actually made sense, she supposed, given they currently stood at the mouth to a trail leading off into the Montana wilderness. If anything said camping, it was the lush evergreen forest surrounding them and the birds chirping in the branches. If she wasn’t mistaken, she could even hear a babbling stream nearby, just out of view through the trees.

  Zoe frowned. She didn’t like camping. Or the wilderness. Or the outdoors. She liked it even less while standing around with a bunch of people she’d never met before.

  And, taking a second look, why were they all standing in groups of four? She was the only person without an entourage. Huh, weird.

  Was she expected to team up with a bunch of strangers to compete in this show? She didn’t care for the sound of that at all. She didn’t work well with people she knew, so how would she be able to team up with people she’d never met before? With people who dressed like that girl with her brown hair in a tight bun, no makeup, and a pair of the most unflattering cargo pants Zoe had ever laid eyes on. The girl could probably store an entire Macy’s catalogue worth of items in those pockets.

  Surely Chip knew better than to expect her to dress like that too. He absolutely had to know that sticking her with a bunch of strangers had “bad idea” written all over it.

  Chip Cormack, the show’s producer, stood off to the side, talking to one of the production assistants with a seriously heavy looking clipboard. Zoe had met Chip for the first time when she went on a dating reality TV show called The One. That had gone pretty well. Until she made it to the final two and bachelor Brad had chosen Miss Goodie Two Shoes Cassidy instead of her. How that man had made his decision, she’d never understood.

  That wasn’t important anymore. She hadn’t really loved Brad. She’d been caught up in the moment, enjoying the limelight and attention from him. But she hadn’t actually loved him. She just hadn’t wanted to be rejected by him, or anyone else, on national television.

  How could she love someone who spent his days surfing the waves and expecting her to as well? Zoe didn’t swim. Ever. That relationship would have been destined to fail. Not that Brad stayed with Cassidy either, since she’d fallen in love with her cameraman on the show, Evan. Now the two of them were at home, cozy in his little cabin in the woods with their new baby.

  Zoe bit the inside of her lip.

  And then there was Miles and Paige. “Madly in love and ready to take everything to the next level!” they’d told her recently. Probably making babies at that very moment.

  Zoe scowled at the thought of it. She didn’t want that life anyway. Why would she? Not that it was even an option for her anymore. Never really had been an option. Well, not since she was fourteen.

  She bit down on her lip until the familiar coppery taste trickled into her mouth and forced her thoughts away from where they’d suddenly traveled. All that stuff wasn’t important anymore. What was important now was what the heck she was doing here alone when everyone else had come with a group.

  Zoe wandered over to Chip and tapped him on the shoulder, not waiting for him to be done speaking with the PA. “Chip, we need to talk.”

  Chip dismissed the assistant to carry on with her tasks. “Zoe, it’s lovely to see you again.” He smiled one of his famous Chip smiles — the ones that always made her feel a little lightheaded.

  She’d noticed how cute Chip was while filming The One. She thought his dark brown messy, spiked hair, which probably took great time and product application to achieve, looked stylish and put together. His eyes reminded her of chocolate — her one indulgence.

  When she’d filmed Treasure Trekkers last summer and had hurt her ankle, Chip had been at the hospital with her. He’d seemed so sweet and so genuinely concerned for her well being when no one else usually cared. She’d liked his attention. She’d liked him.

  Now, seeing him again, standing with him so close to her, she couldn’t stop her heart from pounding against her ribs. Damn. She needed to get her emotions under c
ontrol around him if she was going to make it through the whole show without having a coronary.

  “Chip,” she started, “I don’t understand why I’m the only one without a group. It seems like all the others have teams formed already. Is there something you haven’t told me?”

  She knew the answer without asking the question. Where Chip was concerned, there was always a surprise. And not necessarily a good one.

  “So you’ve noticed.”

  “I’d have to be blind not to.”

  Chip put his hand on her lower back, the heat of his palm making her knees suddenly feel like pockets of gelatin rather than joints filled with bones, ligaments, and cartilage. She forced her shoulders back and demanded her knees behave. She wasn’t about to become a pile of gooey hormones over a guy, even if that guy was Chip.

  “Why don’t we join the others and I’ll explain everything?” Chip smiled at her and her anxiety slipped away. Funny how he had a way of doing that to her. That was probably the reason she kept agreeing to be a part of his silly reality shows.

  Well, it was certainly one of the reasons anyway. The money he’d guaranteed her this time didn’t hurt either.

  Together they walked back to the waiting groups, but when Zoe tried to leave Chip’s side to join the contestants, he held her back.

  “What’s going on? I deserve to know,” she said quietly, imploring him with her eyes to let her in on his secret. She hated not being in control of a situation and she most definitely was not in control right now.

  Chip leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Trust me.” His fingers rubbed up and down her arm as he spoke. She suddenly found it hard to concentrate on what he said as everything except the sensation of his fingers on her arm and his breath on her earlobe ceased to exist. “I promised you a payday. Let me make that happen.”

  She nodded when he pulled away from her. Her skin prickled with goose bumps where his hand no longer touched her. Odd. She hadn’t felt this much reaction to Chip on either of the last shows. Although, she’d never been so close to him during those productions either. Maybe Zoe liked more than just his smile.

  Chip turned to the others. “If I can have your attention, please?” he started as the familiar business tone in his voice returned. “I have a couple of details to share with you before we get started with our filming.”

  Everyone focused on Chip.

  “I trust that each of you have now been seen by one of our onset medics, correct? I know you completed some health forms and all of you should have had a full examination by your own doctors. This was just a quick evaluation by our medics as an extra check to make sure you are in top physical form to be able to safely compete in the challenges you’ll face during filming, and also to establish a baseline to judge any future evaluations you may need as the show goes on.”

  The contestants nodded nervously. Zoe hadn’t been told to complete any medical examination before coming on the show and she couldn’t remember having filled out any health forms. Maybe Chip already had those on file for her because of the mountains of paperwork she’d filed for the other shows.

  “Now,” he said, “I’m sure you all recognize the woman standing beside me. In case you haven’t watched any of my other shows — shame on you — this is Zoe Oliver. She was a contestant on both The One and Treasure Trekkers as well as another show on a different network, though we here at Chip Cormack Productions try not to hold that other one against her.” He laughed. The others chuckled. Zoe narrowed her eyes at him.

  What the hell was he up to?

  “You may have also noticed that Zoe is here without a team. That’s because Zoe isn’t here to compete with all of you on the show. Zoe is here as your host.” Chip clapped, the sound loudly echoing around them.

  What did he just say?

  “Chip, I … ” Zoe started, her voice soft with surprise.

  “In a few minutes, we’ll get started with our filming. Zoe will introduce the show and give you details about the rules and how the show is going to work.” Chip carried on as if he hadn’t heard her.

  I will? How? Don’t I need to know those things to talk about them?

  “After that, you will be on camera twenty-four hours a day until filming concludes in one month. Now, please give Zoe and me a few minutes to go over some last minute details and then we’ll get started. If anyone needs to use the indoor facilities, I suggest you make it quick.”

  The contestants scattered off to the restrooms inside the park office but Zoe stood her ground. What had Chip just said? Host?

  She turned. He smiled as if he’d just told her how to stay young and beautiful for eternity. But he hadn’t. She was pretty sure he’d just said she’d be on national television as a host. She wasn’t a host. Hosts were usually charming and charismatic and friendly with everyone. She was none of those things.

  “Care to explain to me what the hell is going on?”

  “I promised you a payday and the only way I can do that is to pay you a salary. Isn’t that what you want?”

  “No. When you guaranteed me a payday I thought you had a way to rig the show so I’d actually win this time and finally redeem myself. I didn’t know you’d brought me on the show to be some lame host.”

  “I can’t rig my shows for the outcome I want. It doesn’t work that way. Hosting is the perfect way for you to redeem yourself and walk away with an easy one hundred grand.”

  Oh. That was money worth considering. That was enough money to pay off not only the bills already piled on her kitchen counter, but also the ones that would come in the mail for the next several months. That was enough money to finally pay off the last of her hospital bills that had been accruing interest since her stepfather had left her mother two years after her accident and had taken his money with him, leaving them broke and in debt.

  “Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I didn’t think you would come if I did. I figured you’d be too nervous to agree to come on camera as the host, but if you do it, I know you’ll be the best host I’ve ever had.” Chip took a step toward her, closing the small distance between them. Since when was Chip so cozy with everyone? He took her hand in his. It felt warm and strong … and comforting, almost as if she could let down her guard with him. Almost.

  “Just go along with the show and being the host. I know it’s not what you expected but I really think by the time filming wraps up, you’ll be happy you were here. This is going to be an amazing experience for all of us.”

  She nodded. It wasn’t like she could leave Chip without a host now. And the money was too good to pass up. She would do it. Be the host of the show. Maybe Chip was right. Maybe America would see her differently after this. It couldn’t hurt to try, could it?

  “Okay,” she said. “What do I have to say? I don’t really know anything about the show so how can I start us off?”

  Chip squeezed her hand. “I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me.” He let her hand go and pointed over to another production person who held giant pieces of white poster board. “I’ve made up cue cards so all you have to do is read them. We’ll do it this way for as long as you need to, then when you’re comfortable hosting, you can wing it without the extra help.”

  That didn’t sound so terrible. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about sounding like a moron. She swallowed her nerves while the contestants gathered back in front of her, the person with the cue cards standing right in the middle behind them where the camera couldn’t see.

  “Welcome to Wild Expedition,” she started, her voice a little shakier than she wanted. “A show that will take our contestants out of their comfort zones and into the wild.”

  She paused, her gaze darting to Chip quickly. How wild exactly?

  She cleared her throat and focused on reading the cue cards again. “During the month long expedition, each team of four people wil
l have to complete specific challenges designed to test their teamwork skills, survival skills, problem solving, and personal strengths. This is not an easy game to play, but our five teams are up to the challenge, aren’t you?”

  The contestants let out a loud cheer. A hell of a lot louder than she would have. She probably owed Chip a huge thank you for not having her as a contestant since this wasn’t her kind of thing at all. A whole month of roughing it? No thanks.

  “Along the way, we’ll have to say goodbye to four of our teams so that in the end, only one team remains to win the shared million-dollar prize.”

  Wow. A million dollars split between four was still a ton of money for each person. Maybe she should have negotiated with Chip for more salary since she could have made a lot more money as a contestant. Of course, she could play and walk away empty handed too. Again. At least with the salary she walked away with something for her time and effort.

  “Each team should have a map in their possession.”

  They should?

  “Your first task is to find your site, set up camp with the gear provided, and survive your first night out in the wild. Tonight I’ll check in with each team to see how you’re doing. Teams, it’s time to get wild! The game officially begins now.”

  Zoe watched quietly as the teams scrounged in their bags to find the maps that would lead them to their camps. A wave of relief came over her that this time she didn’t have to worry about strategy or getting along with the other contestants or any of the other things she’d had to worry about on the previous shows. This time, finally, she wouldn’t have to fear water challenges that threatened to remove her makeup in one splash. Sure, she’d always worn waterproof, but there was only so much it could withstand. She might have come across as calm and uncaring at the thought of going out on a canoe to grab a cache with Paige, Miles, and Ben, but on the inside, she’d been a quivering mess. At least this time all she had to do was show up, look pretty, smile, and read a few cue cards. No big deal.

  “Ready to go?” Chip asked, motioning toward the trail all of the teams had now started down.