Love or Luxury Read online

  "That should do it, sweetie," the nurse said, standing and putting the bandaging tape back onto the supply cart in the corner. "You're free to go. But do us a favor and take a cab home. No more motorcycles for you anytime soon, okay?"

  "Deal. Now, can I please go see Finn?" Rebecca asked nicely, but she wouldn't hesitate to pull bitch if they expected her to leave the hospital without seeing him.

  "Let me go check, and I'll be right back."

  Rebecca gathered her things as she waited. Luckily, her bag had been under her jacket, so it had come to the hospital with her. She didn't pull the handbag over her head to hang across her chest. Raising her arms to accomplish that hurt too much. Instead, she held her things in her bandaged hands and tried unsuccessfully to wait patiently. After what felt like hours, the nurse returned and told her to follow her down the hall.

  "He's right in there." The nurse pointed to an open door and walked away.

  Rebecca took a deep, steadying breath, hoping to calm her nerves. And the fear of what she might find inside the room.

  Please don't let him be hurt.

  "Rebecca, sweetheart, is that you?"

  Reid. Crap. Not now.

  She turned, plastering a smile on her face, biting back the tears waiting just beneath the surface. Finn was on the other side of this door, lying in a bed in God only knew what condition, and all she wanted to do was go to him.

  "What are you doing here?" he asked, coming up and giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

  Good thing her cheeks were scrape-free since she'd been wearing a helmet with a visor. Her hand wasn't so lucky. She slid the jacket draped over her arm down to cover her new bandage accessories.

  What was she doing here? Good question. Think.

  "I'm, um, just visiting a friend from the shelter that was brought in." Sure, that was believable. "What are you doing here?" She smiled sweetly, hoping he couldn't tell she lied.

  "I told you I had a shift this evening. Someone was brought in with severe chest pain, so they called me down from Cardiology for an exam. Is your friend okay? Do you want me to check in on them?" He put his hand on the doorknob behind her.

  The door that led to Finn.

  "No!" she said too quickly, and too loudly.

  She took a deep breath. Relax, Becs. Calm down.

  "No, thank you," she said with a quiet voice, forcing herself to smile. "It's just a broken leg. He's… she's fine. In fact, I think she's almost ready to head home so maybe I should go."

  His eyes narrowed slightly as she stood there smiling at him, hoping he would buy her story and not insist on checking on her "friend" himself.

  "Okay, sweetheart. I have to head back up to Cardiology anyway." He gave her another quick kiss on the cheek. "I have to work late tonight, but I'll call you tomorrow."

  Rebecca said goodbye then stood with her back against the door to Finn's room while she watched Reid walk away. When he disappeared around a corner, she finally relaxed.

  That was too close. She needed to figure out what she was doing with these guys. She couldn't keep going on like this with both of them. It was too risky and she would get caught sooner or later.

  Before she could worry about any of that, she had to make sure that Finn was okay.

  She strode into the room with her shoulders back and her chin held high. But one look at Finn sitting on the tiny hospital bed with a bandage above his right eye and she choked on a sob before rushing to his side.

  "Are you okay?" she asked, trying to check for injuries through her blurry vision. She attempted to blink away the tears, but they slipped from her eyes, completely giving away her fear for him. "Are you hurt? I've been asking about you, and no one would tell me anything. No one would let me see you."

  "I'm fine. A slight concussion, but the CAT scan showed nothing to worry about." He took her hand and ran his fingers tenderly over the bandage. "You're hurt." His voice was solemn, strained.

  "I'm fine. It's only a scratch." Her voice caught in her throat.

  "Any others? Are you hurt anywhere else?"

  His gaze traveled over her body as if looking for injuries. In his eyes she saw her own fear reflected back. He had obviously been worried, too. She wasn't the only one fighting back tears.

  "Forgive me, Becca," he said so softly she almost didn't hear him. "I'm so sorry I hurt you."

  She squeezed his hand, trying desperately to counter the ache growing in her chest. How could she ever hold this against him? It was an accident. And if she was being truthful, she knew the accident was all her fault.

  "I'm the one who's sorry," she said, shaking her head. "I shouldn't have distracted you by putting my hands on your stomach. That was so stupid of me. I didn't think."

  He sat up straight and cupped her face in his hands. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I was the driver, and I should never have stopped paying attention to what I was doing for even a second. Not with you behind me. I promise I'll never let that happen again."

  He brushed his lips against hers and finally the tears she'd been fighting so hard flowed freely down her cheeks in little rivers. She was so thankful they were both okay. Wrapping her arms around him, she hugged him close and ran her fingers through his hair.

  "They're going to make me stay a few more hours for observation," he said against her neck as she cuddled him.

  She didn't want to let him go. Not now that she knew he was okay.

  "Then I'll stay, too," she answered, her voice firm. She'd step out long enough to call the diner and let Emmett know she was okay, but she wouldn't leave Finn here by himself in a cold hospital triage room. And God help the nurse who tried to make her leave.

  * * * *

  Rebecca lay on the couch, her fuzzy blanket over her legs, and sipped a cup of tea while flipping through the pages of a decorating magazine. Dreaming of a house she'd hopefully get to decorate one day.

  It had been a few days since the accident, and she hadn't been back to work yet. Emmett had insisted she take the entire week off with pay to recover. If she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, she never would have believed it, but Emmett had actually gotten choked up when he'd stopped by to check on her. Emmett wasn't a get-choked-up kind of boss.

  He'd tried to play it off like he didn't want her scaring away the customers with her scrapes and bruises. But the care package of her favorite foods and reading materials told her otherwise. He cared.

  Her cell phone rang, and she picked up quickly without checking the caller display, hoping it was Finn. "Hello."

  "Hello, Rebecca, sweetheart. How are you?" Reid said. His formality with her was sweet and sort of annoying at the same time.

  "I'm fine. How are you?"

  "I'm well, thank you for asking."

  She rolled her eyes. Enough already. Act normal. You're a doctor, not royalty all of a sudden. She appreciated his gentlemanly way of treating her, but sometimes it was too much.

  "I missed talking to you the other day. I called as promised, but you didn't pick up. Is everything okay?"

  The day after the accident—after she'd nearly had a panic attack when she'd run into Reid at the hospital and had had to hide her injured hand—she'd been too busy worrying about Finn to even consider taking or returning Reid's call. "Everything is fine. Sorry I missed your call. I haven't been feeling well. Just a cold or something."

  She couldn't very well tell him she'd been in a motorcycle accident with another man, now could she?

  "Do you need me to come and check on you?"

  She glanced down at her penguin print pajama pants and faded T-shirt. "I'm fine. I'm feeling great now." Besides, sick wouldn't account for the rather large scrape still healing on her hand.

  "That's wonderful news. I was actually calling to see if you'd like to have dinner tonight at Endive."

  Endive was the fanciest place in the Meadow. It always had a wait list which meant Reid must have been planning this date ahead of time. Sweet. But did she feel up to a five-course meal with Reid?<
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  "I can't tonight. I-I have a planning committee meeting with the shelter. It's probably going to take the better part of the evening." She bit her lower lip and prayed he wouldn't hear the lie in her voice.

  It wasn't that she wasn't interested in Reid anymore; she definitely still was. Hell, he was her only shot at a life in the Meadow, and she wasn't about to let that slip away. Which also meant she couldn't let him see her until she was fully healed from the accident.

  That, and she didn't feel like seeing him right now when all she could think about was Finn and how he'd looked at her the hours they'd spent in the hospital together waiting for him to be released. Or remembered how he'd ridden to her apartment with her in the taxi to make sure she'd gotten there okay before having the taxi take him home.

  "Okay. Another time, sweetheart." She could hear the disappointment in his voice. "I have to run. I have appointments in a few minutes. I'll call you again soon."

  She clicked End Call on her phone and leaned her head back against the couch cushions. Reid was wonderful and nice and kind and treated her well, so why wasn't she in a rush to see him again before the gala? Something about having another calm—bordering on boring—dinner with him like they'd had a Luna didn't seem all that enticing. Not when she knew how fun her dates with Finn were.

  But her dates with Finn had to stop. Soon. Or she really would ruin the one shot she had at a future with Reid.

  Except when she flipped to text messages and stared at Finn's name, she couldn't help but smile. His messages were always so sweet and funny and flirty. Was she really ready to end it all with him?

  No.

  A new message from Finn popped onto her screen as she stared at her phone, his timing uncanny.

  Can I see you tonight? We need to talk.

  She took a sip of her tea, her throat suddenly feeling dry. And there it was. Finn wanted to talk. Nothing good ever came of that sentence. But the timing would never be better. She'd known for a while she had to end things with Finn. Now was her chance to walk away from him with her hands clean and guilt free. She'd let him break things off with her, regardless of the tears suddenly prickling her eyes.

  Damn it. She wasn't ready for this conversation yet. She didn't want the fun to end already. His kisses were so passionate. What if she never experienced anything like them again? This fling with Finn was supposed to have been for fun, but this talk he wanted didn't sound like very much fun. And yet she couldn't avoid him like she had Reid. She felt compelled to see Finn, even if the outcome wouldn't be what she wanted.

  Sure. She hit Send and bit her lip to stop her tears.

  Eight o'clock. Our usual. He replied.

  Our usual. She wanted to always have a usual with someone, and somehow the thought of having a usual anything with Reid wasn't very appealing.

  But Reid was a wonderful man with a solid job and status in the Meadow. She'd waited years for him and, finally, he was hers again. So what if her usual with Reid became a usual Wednesday dinner at Luna. Or their usual ritual of watching the eleven o'clock news together before going to bed in their massive bedroom. Couldn't those usuals with Reid be just as good as the usual of meeting Finn on the street with his motorcycle?

  By the tone of Finn's text, she wasn't going to have any kind of usual with Finn anymore after tonight.

  * * * *

  Rebecca stood on the sidewalk in their usual spot a few minutes before eight. She tried not to think about what was coming tonight, but couldn't stop her mind from going there. Finn would ride up on his motorcycle, and they'd have the talk right here where they had first met. Their time together would start and end at their "usual spot" and from now on, every time she walked past this corner, she'd be forced to think of him.

  She knew things had to end with Finn eventually, so why did it suck so much?

  A black Lexus pulled to the curb. She took a step back, scrolling through the email on her phone, hoping to look busy and not like she was loitering on the street.

  As the driver's door opened, she peeked up from beneath her eyelashes to see who got out. Her gaze landed on Finn as he came around the side of the car to the curb and opened the passenger-side door.

  "Your chariot awaits," he said, motioning for her to get in.

  Rebecca stepped forward cautiously. "Where's your motorcycle?"

  He waited as she settled herself on the seat then closed her door. When he got into the driver's seat, she asked him again. In the time she'd known him, she'd never seen him drive anything else.

  "It's parked at home."

  "Why? You always pick me up on it. I wore jeans again. If I'd known we were taking a car, I could have dressed up a little for you so you don't think this is my only wardrobe option."

  "You look amazing in jeans." He cleared his throat and focused on the road. "I decided on the car because… it's gotten, um, too cold for the motorcycle at night."

  Too cold? It was in the high sixties tonight, definitely still warm enough. One of the warmer nights they'd had in the last week, actually.

  They drove in silence for a few minutes, listening only to the soft sounds of the radio playing in the background. She looked out the dark, tinted window as the city sprang up around them. Maybe he was spooked from the accident.

  What if he never wanted to drive it again because of her and how she'd stupidly distracted him?

  "I thought you only drove a motorcycle, but I guess that doesn't make sense in the cold weather."

  "This is one of the company vehicles I use to take out clients if I need to wine 'em and dine 'em." He shrugged and sent her one of his crooked smiles she liked so much. "Not exactly following the rules tonight, but I won't tell my boss if you won't."

  "Your secret is safe with me." She had her fair share of secrets lately—ones she hoped would stay safely hidden away. The last thing she needed was for Finn and Reid to find out about each other.

  Not that it would matter in a few minutes anyway after she and Finn "talked" and called this whole thing off.

  Rebecca glanced at Finn as he drove, his knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel, his jaw set, his gaze focused on the road. He definitely wasn't relaxed tonight. But was that because of the previous accident or because of the upcoming talk?

  Neither option sounded very good.

  "We're here," he said, parallel parking along the side of the road.

  Finn strode around to her side of the car and opened her door, offering her his hand. She took it, her heartbeat leaping into her throat at his touch. What would she do if he didn't want to see her anymore?

  She stepped onto the curb and looked around—a quaint residential neighborhood with a few trees and pretty street lamps. Not a restaurant sign in sight.

  "Where are we?" She expected a busy restaurant somewhere for their breakup. That's what guys usually did. That way she would feel too awkward to cry in public when they broke her heart.

  Not that Finn would break her heart. After all, this fling had all been fun and games, not something serious. Hadn't it?

  He led her by the hand toward the small craftsman-style house. Lights on either side of the door lit the porch with amber light. "Welcome to my home," he said, unlocking the door and leading her inside.

  Rebecca glanced around quickly. To the left was a cozy living room with big, comfortable looking furniture. To the right appeared to be his office. Straight ahead, a staircase led up to the second floor and down the hallway beside the stairs, she could see a tiny portion of the kitchen. It was warm and welcoming, exactly what she expected Finn's home to look like—unpretentious, just like Finn.

  Finn slipped out of his coat and hung it on a peg on the wall then reached out for hers. She handed him her coat and stepped out of her boots before walking into the living room. For being a single guy's home, the place was decorated very well. A picture on the fireplace mantle showed Finn with his brothers, up to their thighs in a river somewhere, fishing. Another of Finn in a cap and gown and someone Rebecca
guessed must be his mother, smiling as he celebrated a graduation. She couldn't tell if it was from high school or university. He looked exactly the same in the picture as he did now. The man aged well either way.

  "Want a glass of wine before dinner?" Finn asked, coming up beside her as she looked at the pictures.

  "Sure."

  Finn left her in the living room and returned a few minutes later with two glasses of red wine. Rebecca sat on the couch and relaxed into the comfortable cushions as Finn lit a fire in the stone fireplace. When the fire roared to life, Finn joined her on the couch.

  The flames from the fire danced, creating a calming effect throughout the entire room. The place was so cozy. It felt as if the rest of the world outside this little room ceased to exist. Just Finn and Rebecca and nothing else mattered.

  Taking a big gulp of wine, she set her glass next to his and leaned back against the couch, turning her body so she could face him better. They needed to have "the talk"—whatever it was he wanted to talk about—before they bothered with dinner. She didn't want to drag out the inevitable.

  She bit her lip. "So, you said you wanted to see me tonight so we could… talk."

  "I did." He took her hand and ran a finger over the scrape that was still healing. "I need to say something before this goes any further between us."

  Her pulse pounded in her ears. This was it. He was going to tell her he didn't want to see her anymore. That the accident had made him realize he was wasting his time with her.

  She bit her lip to stop her eyes from tearing. She would miss Finn, but this was for the better. The sooner he was out of her life, the sooner she could really concentrate on Reid and the future she wanted with him.

  The future that Finn could never give her.

  But before she walked away from him, she had to clear the air about a few things.

  "Before you do, there's something I want to say, too." She looked down at her hand in his, unable to face him. "I'm so sorry for causing the accident. I was stupid to put my cold hands on you. I should've known it would cause you to lose focus, but I didn't think. I really need to learn to keep my hands to myself. I—"